By the time Term 2 rolls around in Canberra, the gloss of a new school year has worn off. Mornings are darker, the weather is turning, and for some families a difficult pattern has started to emerge. The stomach aches before breakfast. The tears at the school gate. The refusal to get in or out of the car.
If your child is struggling to get to school, you are not alone, and your child is not being difficult on purpose. School refusal is a common reason families come to us for support, and there is almost always something deeper going on.
What is school refusal?
School refusal is more than the occasional “I don’t want to go”. It is a persistent, distress-driven pattern of avoiding school, often paired with significant emotional or physical symptoms. Children might complain of headaches, nausea, or fatigue. They might become tearful, withdrawn, or unusually angry in the lead-up to school. Some will get to the gate and freeze. Others will not make it out the door.
It is important to separate this from truancy. Truancy tends to be hidden from parents and is often linked to disengagement. School refusal is the opposite. The child usually wants to be a “good kid”, they want to please their parents and teachers, and the distress is very visible at home.
Why Term 2 is often the tipping point
There is a reason we see a spike in school refusal in May. Term 1 carries a lot of momentum. New uniforms, new teachers, new friendships, and the optimism of a fresh start can mask an underlying problem for weeks. By Term 2, that scaffolding is gone.
A few things tend to converge at this time of year:
- The novelty of the new year has faded and routine has set in.
- Friendships have settled, which means children who feel left out are now noticing it.
- Academic expectations step up after the settling-in period of Term 1.
- Canberra mornings are colder and darker, which makes getting up harder for everyone.
- Any unresolved anxiety from earlier in the year has had time to grow.
For children who were already feeling shaky in Term 1, this is often the point where they run out of capacity to push through.
What’s really going on underneath
School refusal is rarely about school itself. It is almost always a signal that something is overwhelming your child’s ability to cope. Common drivers we see include:
Anxiety. This is the most frequent underlying cause. Separation anxiety, social anxiety, generalised anxiety, and performance anxiety can all show up as a refusal to attend school. The child is not avoiding school, they are avoiding the feelings school brings up.
Friendship and social difficulties. Social struggles, from a fallout with a close friend through to bullying, can leave a child feeling isolated, exposed, or in some cases unsafe at school.
Learning challenges. Undiagnosed learning differences, including dyslexia, ADHD, or autism, can make the school day exhausting in ways that are hard for a child to articulate.
Changes at home. A new sibling, a parent’s illness, a separation, a recent move, or a loss can all leave a child wanting to stay close to home rather than face the unpredictability of school.
Sensory overwhelm. For some children, particularly neurodivergent children, the noise, light, and social demands of a classroom are genuinely too much by mid-term.
Low mood or depression. While we tend to associate depression with adolescents, it does occur in younger children and can present as withdrawal, low energy, and a reluctance to engage with anything, including school.
What helps, and what tends to make it worse
There is no single fix, but there are some general principles worth knowing.
What tends to help is staying calm and curious. Your child is communicating something important, even if they cannot tell you exactly what it is. Open-ended questions like “What’s the hardest part of the day for you?” often go further than “Why won’t you go?”. Maintaining a consistent morning routine, working closely with the school, and getting support early are all protective.
Long stretches at home reinforce the avoidance and make returning harder. Pressuring a child without understanding the cause can deepen their distress. Waiting it out in the hope that it will pass on its own often allows the pattern to entrench.
The earlier school refusal is addressed, the easier it is to turn around.
When to seek professional support
It is worth speaking to a professional if:
- Your child has missed more than a few days, or is regularly distressed about going.
- The behaviour has lasted more than two weeks.
- You are seeing physical symptoms with no medical cause.
- Your own stress around the morning routine is becoming difficult to manage.
- The school has raised concerns.
A good first step is a conversation with your GP, who can rule out physical causes and provide a Mental Health Care Plan if appropriate. A psychologist with experience in children and adolescents can then work with your child, and with you, to understand what is driving the refusal and build a plan to gently rebuild school attendance.
How Think Mental Health can help you
Our Canberra-based clinical team includes psychologists experienced in working with children, adolescents, and families navigating school refusal and anxiety. We work alongside parents, schools, and GPs to understand what is going on for your child, and to develop a practical, evidence-based plan to move forward.
If you are worried about your child, you do not need to wait until things escalate. Early support makes a real difference. To find out more or to book an appointment, contact us or speak to your GP about a referral.